Monday, June 07, 2010

When You're Write You're Write

In an act of years-long friendshipery, my friend Jacob shared his blog with me. It's not themed. It's not racy. It's not full of shirtless bros or theatre gossip. Nope, he writes in his blog ... a vital step I fear I'm losing.

This post smacked me square in my comically over-sized tissue-box-shaped face (hats will never ever fit me) about my current lack of, in essence, originality and substance in what I post. Regurgitation and predictability have become my main export. That is not good. Hell, when The Boyfriend told me about Dance on Broadway, he automatically knew I was going to blog it. Kinda sad, considering my readership is slim to nadda and I don't get paid for any of the ramblings I post. I blame being left to my own devices since I'm out of school, as I'm generally not a good self-motivator.

Anywho, it's time to write. And what better way to exercise the lost art of the written word than by expressing some Kvetches & Kudos?

Hipsters: Hey, hipsters, shave that ridiculous ironic mustache, wear less form-clinging clothes, and fortheluvagod, unroll that one pant cuff when you're riding your skinny-framed bike. I'm looking at you, Wicker Park. You're nothing more than hippies with corporate funding ... & deodorant. Your plaidocentric ways make me annoyed to have even considered visiting your co-op. I'll barter my parsnips elsewhere, thank you very much. Get off it, hipsters!

Ben & Jerry's Half Baked Ice Cream: Hey, Ben & Jerry's Half Baked Ice Cream, you are the reason human beings have taste buds. Not only do you offer the masses delectable brownie bites nuzzled in cozy vanilla, but the inclusion of cookie dough makes you dangerously sexy and beyond scrumptious. You're the ice cream equivalent of a frozen Angelina Jolie. The only way to improve upon your double-cookie sweetness would be the inclusion of bacon bits, but how can one mess with perfection? Stay on it, Ben & Jerry's Half Baked Ice Cream!

I feel better now! No shirtless bros or Broadway gossip clouding my judgement. No teen idols or hyperlinks to 18+ web sites forcing lame decisions. Plus, my first draft typos were at an all-time minimum (I really lucked out on "regurgitation"), which indicates focus and clarity.

Nope, nothing but words words words ... and an ink blot.


Jacob Dane said...

What a humbling feeling to know that my words inspired you while your words (and presence in my life) have always been a inspiration to ME.

Thank you for your kind words and for everything that you are - to me and to others. It is so AWESOME to know you!

Michelle said...

Good post! Also, B&J's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch is unbelievably delicious too. Anyway, I'm trying to give up ice cream for tart frozen yogurt, which is even more amazing and healthy for you! (I think I drunkenly sang its praises to you last weekend?) I am turning into a corporate shill for tart fro-yo, but I loooooooove!

Michael said...

I'll have to admit, the shirtless bros and Broadway goss are the very reason I subscribe to your blog, but I do love it when you write and rant.

While I don't have a clue about Ben and Jerry's (we can't get that down under...) I agree with you about hipsters and their rolling of one pant-leg on bicycles. Grr.

Sorry I don't comment more often


William said...

Jacob - <3
Michelle - You DID drunkenly sing its praises, but The Boyfriend and I are still dubious of its wonderfulness. Though, I am a fan of the fro-yo term.
Michael - Thanks for the kind words! It makes me want to FedEx you B&J all the way Down Under. You don't know what you're missing :-) Please comment any time!