I don't care you're smoking from a bong, Michael Phelps. I don't care there may be marijuana in said bong, Michael Phelps. I don't even care I haven't given you a bro-hug yet, Michael Phelps.
But why did you get caught, Michael Phelps?
[Sidenote: British articles & tabloids are so trashy. Even their most prestige daily news publications end up reading like the New York Post.]