Friday, February 15, 2008

Dear My Heterosexuality

I know it's been a while, but how've you been?
Officially, it's been, what, god, five years? No, six. Six years? Jesus.
Remember Brandi?
Brandi with an "i?" Yeesh.
Her name should have been the dead giveaway things were bound to head gay really quick.

What was she, a freshman, sophomore, in college?
A junior in high school dating a college girl?
I was such a little guy.
Me, you, & Brandi macking-out during A Beautiful Mind.
What an unattractive trio.

I'd grown up into a bad friend, my heterosexuality. Some people fall a part & we simply didn't mesh any more.
Sixteen years down the line; it was just time.
I couldn't stand up for you, or to you, anymore. The only choice in the matter was the choice to leave you behind.

I don't hate you, my heterosexuality. I hate certain things about our too-long-of-a relationship, but it's not your fault. Like Dracula & the Gilroy, California Garlic
Festival, some things simply don't go together.

Sincerely,
William

P.S.
Homosexuality says heeeeeeeeeeey.

1 comment:

Catski (cousin2) said...

This post is freaking awesome.