Another sign I'm turning older than dirt: my sty. What started as an assumed underground zip, thus causing an dripply left eyeball, has vulgarly revealed itself as wicked case of staphylococcal bacteria. Pardon my Francais, but this bitch sucks. I'm bloodshot to hell without the calming paranoia of being high. I tear up as if Love Actually & Titanic are being perpetually broadcast within my eyelids. The bulging black sags under my eye look like Steven Sty's carry-ons AND stow-aways bags. Worse still is the constant tingling that only can be eased by continuously blinking. Yes, I've become twitchy. If blinkaholism were an illness, I'd do PSAs for network television; "I lost everything: my job, my home, & my favorite pair of sunglasses. The blinking was that intense. I simply could not stop. But now. thanks to Sty-A-Way, life's back on track. My wife's come back home, Chili's rehired their #4 grossing waiter, and hell, I can ride a bike again! Thank, Sty-A-Way!"