Sunday, December 16, 2007

Days I Like

This post's inspiration:
There are several types of days I truly & throughly enjoy, and I ain't just talkin' 'bout snow days. I'm talkin' 'bout unexpected days that, due to unexplained natural causes, become magically high in self-worth. Rank them in preference order I cannot, but that won't stop me from going into embarrassing detail about each.

We all know this one: the Good Hair Day. Hair tends to not differ drastically from day-to-day, but if we're lucky and truly truly believe in the Spirit of the Season, tiny near-perfect miracles appear atop our heads. Good Hair Days attack like a ninja in the night, only this ninja's gay & his welcomed barrages occur during follically peak viewing hours.

Mirrors aren't necessarily needed to enjoy my second favorite type of day...but they don't hurt. Days I feel skinnier than, say, I really am tend to be composed of 90% mental fibbery & 10% physical illusion. The illusion comes from the occasional flash of a tucked tummy in a mirror or a reduced third chin in the reflective surface of a Hot Pocket crisping sleeve. The other 90% is simply a warmly welcomed mental gift of chocolaty proportions.

I don't know if many girls know about them or how many guys consciously think/talk about Long Days, but they're the BEST. There's nothing more gratifying than a Long Day. Long Days are days I'd consider streaking during a highly publicized political rally with the hopes of the next day's headline reading, "WELL-ENDOWED MAN STREAKS DURING HIGHLY PUBLICIZED POLITICAL RALLY." Little do they know I was merely the lucky recipient of a Long Day. They make the tripods we know (and envy) look like power-cocked ninja shlongers. And for the rest of us? Well they make us feel just plain loved.

It goes without saying the opposite of these days are hands down my least favorite, for who wants to be alive during a Bad Hair, Fatty, or Short Day? No one, that's who.

The favorites, though, are a welcomed change to my tubby, flat-haired, average-cocked way of life.


Kinzie said...

i really like this post.

love, a girl who is envious of your occasional "long days"

Taylor said...

the best thing i have read this week..hands down.