Thursday, October 11, 2007

I'm Old

To the female college freshmen sitting next to me before Passion:

-considering yourself a bohemian is lame.
-you're mother has to tell you you're a good actress; she's your mother. It's her job.
-Northwestern's theatre department sucks. Don't envy their students.

-
The Pirate Queen was bad. Nothing you say can ever make what is was good.
-it's pronounced
Eh-qwis, not Eee-kwis. The show's about horses.
-bragging about having the "leads" in student-written high school productions to your new college friend is lame. She was not impressed, and nor was I.

-Sondheim wrote
Passion. Yes, Passion, the show you paid $40, right now. Are you still unsure of who wrote the musical you're sitting front row to see? StephenbloodySondheim not AndrewfuckingLloydWebber! Educate.
-be humble. No one likes a bragger.

Good thing I spoke up:

"Girls, I know this sounds a bit old & jaded, but I really think you should reconsider how you talk about yourself in such close proximity to strangers. Theatre-going strangers, no less. Your off-kilter & asinine antidotes offer an uneducated & naive representation of yourself. You're not special."

Wish I had told her that after curtain call.
(maybe a little nicer, but said it nonetheless).

I'm crotchety.

3 comments:

Michelle said...

Uber-bitchy...but it sounds like they deserved it. Who goes to a musical without knowing who the composer is???

A to the S said...

wait wait... you REALLY said that?

also, if people see "The Producers" and don't know what it's about, then it is reasonable to assume these girls didn't know sondheim wrote it.

William said...

No, didn't say it, but I thought of you two the whole time. We would have had a field day. When the snare drummer was warming up, I kept screaming, "POUND LOUDER!" in my head.