Saturday, October 06, 2007

Another Opened Letter

Dear Lemonade & Raspberry Iced Tea,

How have you been? I'm sorry we haven't had much of a relationship the past 22 years. Our lack of contact is entirely my fault, and I accept that unfortunate burden. I was a fool. A blind, flavorless fool.

...and maybe a little bit prejudice.

Don't tell Raspberry Iced Tea, Lemonade, but I've never had a problem with you. In fact, I think I've always loved you. You, accompanying sunny childhood days, glistening in cheep-yet-sensible condensation-drenched plastic cups. While I frolicked under Mr. Sun's golden rays, you'd tease with your siren song, as if to beckon,
"Drink up, little one. You cannot deny my tart, thirst-quenching powers." And I didn't: your lemony zest subdued my thirst & puckered my lips. You're all I ever wanted.

...and all I thought I'd ever need.

And then there's you, Raspberry Iced Tea. W
e grew up in different worlds: you being a Southern treat & me being a stubborn Yank. You're something I thought I knew so well: the best friend's cousin one knows all about but has never met...the preconceived notion of Paris in Springtime before ever crossing the Atlantic. Plainly put, I misjudged you, Raspberry Iced Tea.

...and I am sorry.

Mixing you together, Raspberry Iced Tea & Lemonade, is a celebration of life! A refreshing explosion of exuberant joy swimming, nay, dancing around my mouth! My teeth envy my tongue, for they experience your presence a few seconds longer. My days are not complete until you are mixed in a cheep-yet-industrial Top-American-Hotel-Destination paper cup. Sure, I sip you slowly, but I hate seeing you go. I hating having you leave. I need you to linger. I need you to live.

With the assistance of our mutual friend, Lemonade, a new bond has been forged. A friendship discovered. A love affair kindled.

I did not know pleasure until Bruce Palmer, Arnold's brother, entered my life.



Michelle said...

WHAT? That's no Arnold Palmer!

An Arnold Palmer is a MAN'S drink, made from lemonade and PLAIN, UNSWEETENED ICED TEA. I'm not denying the validity of Raspberry Iced Tea and lemonade as a scrumptious flavor combination, but let's call a spade a spade! To say that your new drink is an Arnold Palmer would be like handing me a cosmo and calling it a Heineken. Both are delicious, but they're not interchangeable! Don't you see? DON'T YOU SEE?!? GOOD GOD, MAN, YOU'RE DRUNK ON YOUR OWN SENSE OF POWER AND ARTIFICIAL RASPBERRY SWEETENER!

To avoid further confusion, I suggest calling your beverage a "Bruce Palmer," as it is the delightfully fruity and gay younger brother of a regular Arnold Palmer. Thank you for your cooperation.

William said...

You ruin everything, but I edited based on your "suggestion."

Miss you.